In Contrast
by hahalolsmileyface
Summary: They were complete opposites yet almost the same. Both having thoughts that could mesh well in conversation yet executing actions that were in complete contrast with each other. It excited him to have a mind so much like his. It scared her to know that she wasn't the only one in the world who harbored thoughts so insane. Dark fic. Ita/Saku
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

She desperately wanted to die.

Truly, she wanted to force her wretched soul from this body of hers. Broken, tired, utterly exhausted beyond relief, she could only find solace in the fact that not everything living could live forever.

She was a coward in the way of suicide, only bringing herself to go as far as entertaining multiple, _violent_ scenarios. But in the end, she was too scared.

Of death? No, in fact if it ever came for her she'd welcome it with open arms.

Her fear lay in the pain. She never really liked pain anyways. It made her stomach knot uncomfortably at the thought of a paring knife twisting in her gut.

Strangely enough, she never quite minded dishing it out to others. She never purposefully caused pain but she didn't wince when one of her patients would be rushed to the ER with splintered pieces of bones sticking out at odd angles past the skin.

"Haruno-san?"

She paused at the sound of her name and turned to acknowledge one of the nurses who'd been bounding up to her in short leaps down the hallway.

The nurse smiled gently and questioned, "Will you be going home now?"

Sakura nodded, "My shift is over but don't hesitate to page me if I'm needed."

Looking sheepish, she hesitated before presenting her with a small packet of documents. "Could you take this with you?" she begged with a small, hopeful gleam in her eyes. "These are a small list of things needed that the hospital is running low on-"

"Small?" she raised a brow as she took the packet speculatively, skimming through the pages briefly.

Grinning, the nurse - whose name escaped her mind for a moment - clapped her hands in a pleading gesture. "It just needs your approval. I've filed out practically everything else, all that's needed is your signature and it can't wait."

"Let me guess," she glared down at her teasingly. "You procrastinated this important piece of work until the last moment then realized what a big mistake it was and decided to _implore_ one of the more nicer doctors so that she'd possibly prevent your butt from getting in trouble?"

"I knew you'd understand, Haruno-san. Thank you!" she squealed with delight, skimping down the hall before anything else could be said.

Withholding a sigh, she tucked the papers in the crook of her elbow and continued her way down the hall.

It wasn't as if she could ask someone to help her sort her chaotic thoughts out either. They'd put her in a padded cell with one too many fake-smiled nurses. So she was left to stew in her depressing thoughts, day in and day out, easily forcing out the kind and cheery demeanor she'd so carefully constructed in all the 24 years of life she'd been lucky to breathe.

As much as she wanted someone to satiate this torturous sense of loneliness, she knew it was much more easier this way to conceal her real thoughts than to have everything she'd worked so hard to achieve, blow up in her face.

* * *

He wouldn't call himself insane.

Not really. He preferred the word broad. Open, even. He couldn't quite grasp the fundamentals of society. To adhere to the unspoken rules of interaction and narrow-minded thinking suffocated him beyond relief. So what if people saw him as deranged. At least he could be himself, truly, without caring for the burdens of worrying what other people thought.

What other people thought didn't matter. Did they influence his life? Were they responsible for his survival? Detrimental in any way?

No.

So he wouldn't care.

And he'd learned not to care a long time ago.

What were feelings but a way to manipulate them. What was love but a tool to use.

Maybe sociopath would be an apt word to describe him as he indeed lacked the moral compass that the general populace seemed to use as their standard guideline. But then again, even though he could easily manipulate others to do the bidding of his every desired whim he found it was a distasteful sort of influence and much preferred to be blunt and truthful. He saw no point in beating around the bush or sparing one's feelings. It just dragged out the time and effort of both parties just to say what needed to be said.

Perhaps... the only person who was immune to this iron-clad way of life of his would be his younger brother. In a way, he was like his son, having taken care of him since his birth to that fateful day in which he murdered their parents - their entire family actually. Aunts, uncles, cousins, children, elders, all save for his brother. It was a rare moment of compassion that befell him to spare the wide-eyed, broken looking boy but he should've considered it a gift.

But that was a day he barely brought himself to think of anymore. It happened, it was long past, he'd moved on. Even if his foolish brother hadn't.

He was brought out of his quiet musings by his partner. His co-worker. Quite barely an acquaintance although Kisame was the person he interacted with more often than others. Still, he couldn't be called a friend. It was a grossly inappropriate label for their partnership.

"Leader-sama is calling a meeting. Three days. Beijing."

He only gave a nod of acknowledgement, knowing that the little details such as time and address weren't necessary as they would be provided at his boss's earliest convenience.

As Kisame dropped into the couch across from him, he leaned back further in his chair and closed his eyes, vaguely wondering how his younger brother was currently doing in his laughable path of revenge.

Not well, he figured.

* * *

Sakura glanced up at her long time love interest with a spark of curiosity.

To her disappointment, he seemed just as uninterested in conversing with her as he had been the past 20 years she'd been his friend.

She wasn't quite sure he considered her a friend as much as he thought of her as a nuisance. Which hurt her more than she cared to admit but such was the curse of an unrequited first love, one she'd hung onto for as long as she'd known him.

Shame coursed through her as she looked to her left where their mutual friend sat, as boisterous as ever.

"Hey Sasuke-teme!" the blonde shouted indignantly. "You cheated didn't you? I mean there's just no possible way you could get into the police force before _me_. And in the Special Assault Team too!"

Of course. The very reason the three of them had decided to go out for dinner in the first place was to celebrate Sasuke's acceptance into the police force. It was hard earned and she was very proud of him, even if he didn't appreciate the sentiment.

She heard a snort come from her right. "It's not a hard deduction. You're the dumbest person I've ever met. It's expected that the police force wouldn't accept you, dobe."

"Aha," Sakura chuckled nervously. "Come on now guys, we're... celebrating."

"I don't even like ramen." Sasuke remarked blandly.

"Nobody cares!" Naruto hissed before turning to the bowl in front of him reverently. "Ramen is the best invention of all time. And Ichiraku is the best restaurant to bring out its _amazing_ and delicious flavor."

Sighing, she checked the time. 9:34... She had an early shift tomorrow and she had yet to sign any of those papers she'd received from that nurse earlier today, too busy frantically finding an outfit that might catch the attention of the male beside her. It was all for naught however as she'd decided to try for casual, a simple jeans and tank top covered decently by a pastel cardigan. She felt pretty enough but at Sasuke's lack of attention, she couldn't help but inwardly deflate.

She sighed, taking her wallet out of her purse so she could pay only to be stopped by Sasuke's hand. "It's fine. I'll pay for it."

Blushing, she shook her head. "This is your celebratory dinner. It wouldn't be right for the guest of honor to pay for my meal," she laughed.

"Sakura," he said sternly and with that one word she caved in, easily dropping her wallet back into her purse as he pulled out a few bills and left them on the counter.

She knew that he cared... to an extent. He had to. He'd shown it sparingly over the years, more so since the day she'd decided to outwardly stop any heartfelt advances one day. She'd explicitly told him that although she couldn't stop her feelings for him, she'd try to remain his friend and expect nothing more in return. He might not have returned her strong sentiments but she knew he appreciated having one less girl forcefully trying to gain his affections. As he was prone to each and every day since he'd entered grade school.

Naruto, noticing that the money wasn't enough to cover the three of them, huffed. "Oi teme! What about me?"

Although he'd never admit it, Sakura knew that Sasuke had only done it to get a rise out of Naruto and she squashed the small voice in the back of her mind that hoped he might've done it as a sign that he wanted more. She tuned out their bickering as she considered her feelings. Of course he'd never want more and she'd been working hard on moving on, even going so far as to date for a little but none had quite caught her eye. Maybe, she was looking too hard to find a little of her first love in each person she dated but that was not something she could really help.

Sighing, she turned to the two who'd finished their argument and settled for minutely glaring at each other. Laughing, she remarked, "I have an early shift tomorrow so I'll have to leave."

"What?" Naruto whined despairingly. "No Sakura... We have to go to a bar! The bar!" he begged. "We were just starting the night, we have to celebrate dumb Uchiha teme's cheating ass with drinks!"

A vein popped on Sasuke's forehead. "Who're you calling dumb, dobe?"

Before the fight could escalate into something more, Sakura shook her head. "No, it's okay. You guys go on without me." As much as she wanted to go, she was serious on trying to break off her attachment to the stoic Uchiha. If that meant depriving herself of his company then so be it. "I have to get up early... so..."

In a way, she'd hoped they'd both try harder to get her to come with them, because if she was pushed far enough she knew she would've gone but, to her relief and utter disappointment Naruto shrugged and wrapped an arm around Sasuke's shoulder. "That's a shame Sakura-chan. Alright then, get home safely okay?" he grinned.

Nodding, she waved goodbye and started in the opposite direction of them. Despite her good intentions, she immediately felt the loneliness biting at the edge of her consciousness. She pushed it back with massive failure on her part and as she came closer and closer to an empty house, the despair that lingered on the edge of her mind increased with a vengeance.

Maybe... maybe she shouldn't go home. She didn't want to anyways despite the sleep she would definitely need in order to tackle the day tomorrow. She shrugged off the irrational, very tempting thought and settled for the logical choice. She'd go home, sign those papers, then take a long and relaxing bath after which she'd fall asleep. Or at least try to. With the thoughts that keep her up at night, she wasn't sure if she could.

* * *

The hum of the plane soothed him but he didn't fall asleep.

Even if he wanted to, he couldn't. Not with the soft shifting of his partner. "Nervous?" he asked.

Kisame shrugged but he could see the tension that rippled with the act. "Let's just say that if I could choose, flying wouldn't be my first choice."

He didn't respond. Beijing was another mere 3 hours away. He wasn't one to make polite or pointless conversation. Even more so, he enjoyed any silence he could obtain. The screeching of daily life bore down on him more than he cared to admit though it didn't stop him from doing the things that needed to be done.

Kisame tried to relax in companionable silence as well but he couldn't seem to stave his shifting. Finally, "I need a beer."

At that point, a stewardess was coming up to their row and before she could pass, he held his hand out in a way that called for her attention and she stopped with a polite smile. "Can I help you, sir?"

"A beer, Heineken."

"May I see some I.D.?"

"It's for him."

Her eyes turned to the stocky man beside him and her smile faltered at the daunting figure who only gave her a cursory glance in return. "Can I see some I.D, sir?" she questioned, smile reinforced although surprisingly, in his opinion, it didn't seem fake. She seemed more surprised than anything.

Grumbling, Kisame dug one out of the many fake I.D's he held in his wallet and after she skimmed through the contents, indeed assuring that he was over 20 years of age, she gave a small nod of approval. "Alright, Mr. Mizuage-san. I'll be back in a minute. Anything else?" Kisame shook his head and she left.

"I wanted a Budlight."

"You had a chance to change it."

Kisame reclined his seat. "Excuse me if I was surprised at your charitable action. You never do things for other people."

"Call it boredom."

Kisame closed his eyes. "That sounds like you."

"Here you are, Mr. Mizuage-san." Without opening his eyes, Kisame accepted the drink and took a hearty gulp.

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit before Kisame cracked open an eye. "Itachi."

At his name, he inclined his head to show that he was listening.

Kisame considered his words carefully, knowing that Itachi would be patient. "Do you know...?"

Itachi took the sentence in with some deliberation. Deciding it was much too broad to answer simply, he waited for him to clarify.

"About our end goal? Do you know what Akatsuki's fighting for?"

He turned an eye to his partner, curious at the mention of the organization for which they both worked under. It was unusual that he would bring it up so casually in public. Usually, he'd be more careful of nosy ears. Indulging him, he questioned, "Do you?"

"I wouldn't have joined otherwise."

Itachi analyzed what he should reveal. After some thought, he leaned his head against the cushion of his seat, deciding that a nap wouldn't be so bad after all. "It serves a purpose for me."

Kisame narrowed his eyes, impatient yet used to his riddled answers. "So you do know."

He was left unanswered.

* * *

It had only been a week and she could already tell that Sasuke was unlikely to have as much free time as he did before joining the ANBU division.

She'd heard rumors about it but nothing concrete, only confident that they carried out missions in secret and complete confidentiality. The rumors of their brutality was worse, but she couldn't quite fault him for choosing ANBU to join in the first place. She knew his reasons and she knew he'd stop at nothing to realize his dream.

Although, from the little he'd told her, it didn't seem like a dream at all. More of a nightmare.

It was good that he had Naruto. She knew that although they were all friends, she couldn't be more further apart from them even if she tried. They both worked to be in the same team but for different reasons, they both knew the other more better than she did them, and even if they both denied it with fervor, she knew that they considered each other to be as close to a brother as one could get. It left her feeling as if they were both advancing side by side on a path in which the three of them walked and yet, as much as she tried to run and catch up, it left her out of breath and walking in their shadows.

She was jealous at their closeness, knowing she could never quite have that with them. With all her accomplishments as a young and successful doctor, she still couldn't measure up to their height. Literally and figuratively.

It was a tiring cycle, and one she became more aware of with each passing day.

Today, she had a lecture. Strange as it may seem for someone so young and new to the medical world to be starting her own lectures, it wasn't much of a surprise to those who knew her. She was better than smart. She grasped the fundamentals of medical science more easily than most others, earning her a title of a genius.

She knew it wasn't that. Her IQ wasn't quite as high, perhaps just barely reaching 110 but when it came to the medical field, she couldn't help but studiously scour the information with rapid interest, immediately understanding the language of doctors. She thought life was a beautiful thing, despite her depressing state of mind. In that way, she supposed it also puzzled her. She became a doctor because knowing the biological and chemical factors that related to the phenomenal workings of life and how seamlessly they all came together with a touch of logic... well, it just took her breath away. It made her heart beat fast in excitement as she settled in her element. In contrast, however, she couldn't help the violent burst of thoughts that came in passing.

Sometimes, seeing a scalpel would trigger a split second of mental brutality. It wouldn't be hard to grasp the cool metal and slice it up the veins of her arms. She'd bleed out quickly and it wasn't quite easy to fix a vertical cut like that.

Then the momentary lapse in sanity would disappear as if she'd always been sane and ignore how much she wished she had the courage to pick it up and do it herself.

It was surprising, she supposed, that she chose such a cheery and thoughtful disposition to don as her persona. It was a tiring burden to shoulder when she was around people, which was why, aside from her two friends and the hospital, she didn't quite go anywhere else. She didn't have much interest in maintaining that mask more than was absolutely necessary.

She pushed aside these manic thoughts and focused on the classroom she found herself in, proceeding to immerse herself in the workings of microbiology. She wondered, for a moment, if her thoughts were revealed to the world for just one moment, would there be a person - just a single one - who wouldn't judge?

The singular answer came to her in a heartbeat.

No.

* * *

A/N: So... heh yeah i have no business starting new stories i know i know! but this story is actually in relation to me. i have a lot of things going on at home and right now, this chapter has been a way for me to vent... sort of? These characters are still the characters as how i'd picture them pre-character development lol. And I plan to make this story a little dark. darker than i'd usually make my stories.

Tell me what you think! this chapter was actually supposed to be much longer but I never did have the patience to make long chapters haha. besides this is only like... a prechapter? almost? kind of like a prologue because right now I only have the basic basic of the basics on what i plan to do with this story and I also wanted to get the whole paint a picture out of the way. You know, introducing and giving the reader a sense of how the characters thoughts and personality go?

Anyways, i want to be on this story because the others have definitely been pushed to the backburner. Bittersweet blooms definitely I need to go over because i'm stuck on a bad writer's block. I can't say for the other stories.

Thank you anyways!

Until next time :)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Itachi blankly stared at the ceiling of his hotel room. It had already been a few days since the meeting had been called but it hadn't yet been concluded.

He resisted the urge to sigh. He could be doing important things with his time right now back in Japan. Things that required his attention and his alone, yet he was forced to stay here waiting for a meeting that he really felt didn't _need_ his attention.

He closed his eyes as he heard his partner bumbling around in the bathroom.

He had been a little relieved that their meeting would be held at Beijing.

At first.

He had a few loose ends to take care of but it was business that hardly required much effort on his part. It had taken less than a day.

So here he was, laying in bed, not quite relaxing yet looking just so, wasting away his time while they waited for the time to draw closer to the start of their second meeting.

He felt unnaturally irked at their present situation.

"Oi, Itachi! Did we use all the damn towels or something? I can't find any!" The muffled sound of Kisame's voice grew clearer as he opened the door, completely unabashed at his open state of dress.

"We put the 'do not disturb' sign on the door."

"That's inconvenient," he mumbled, inwardly scowling at the fact that the maids hadn't bypassed the clearly stated sign just to hand deliver his much needed towels. "Can you pass me one of my shirts then?"

Itachi made no move to do so.

"You're a bastard," Kisame said casually, not really having expecting him to do as he had asked. "It's almost 5."

His eyes opened just enough to flick to the digital clock on the bedside table. So it was. Hauling himself up, Itachi grasped the cloak that hung neatly over the headboard and stood to don it. It was patterned with deep crimson clouds on a black setting. He looked to his partner who had done the same.

As they walked toward their destination, he fell into deep thought.

He really hoped that this meeting would conclude their stay in China and wondered if their were any orders he and his partner would have to execute. He wasn't shy to say that aside from his family, he'd killed many more. He wasn't quite as sadistic as Kisame in terms of murdering - he made sure to do a quick, _clean_ , cut - but if that was the job assigned to him by the Akatsuki organization, then he would do it.

For now, his purposes would be served through serving this group of notorious criminals. After all, it's the ends that justify the means.

* * *

Another bland day at the hospital.

Sakura noted that this was probably the thousandth time she'd gone through this routine. It wasn't that she _hated_ working here, per se... she just sometimes _might_ have trouble finding the fun in a repetitive schedule.

Sighing loudly, she leaned back in her chair, staring hard at the unappetizing salad that her assistant had gotten for her.

She'd been trying a new diet to slim her figure a little bit. Not too much, but just to trim a little of the fat around the edges. She snorted at her thoughts. Good idea _that's_ been with how unfaithful she'd been sticking to her dietary regimen.

She pushed the salad further away and rubbed her temple. It was her lunch break and all she wanted to do was go home, maybe catch some sleep, and read a book.

"Haruno-san?"

Sakura eyed the interruption and straightened before plastering a kind smile on her face. "Yes?"

Her secretary looked a little unsure of herself. "Well, um... I know you're on your lunchbreak but there's someone here to see you." Before Sakura could ask why she didn't turn this person away like she was required to do with all others (unless it's an emergency), she heard her squeak, "He insisted."

Sakura cocked her head and frowned, drawing her brows together in slight confusion. Who would wanna see her so urgently? She didn't have a very high ranking in the hospital, just one of many doctors who worked there. She didn't have much power or influence in the world, much less the place she worked. She was usually consulted by peers and patients. All she really was noted for was her uncanny ability to absorb medical knowledge and apply it to practical use.

"Let him in," she relented uncertainly.

Sakura grabbed her untouched lunch and placed it carelessly in the top drawer to her right before straightening out her desk in some semblance of order.

The door opened just as she ran a hand through her short, messy locks and she raised her eyes to study the figure who'd waltzed in with a kind of noticeable grace which she immediately found herself envying.

"Ah, Haruno-san I presume?"

He gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, his round, thin glasses doing nothing to hide the sharp features of this person. Although he looked quite young, perhaps around her age, the mop of silvery hair atop his head made him look more older. He was donned in a crisp, white lab coat that weighed down his flimsy frame. She could only assume he was a doctor of some sort.

Yet, despite how meek he looked, Sakura wholeheartedly understood the reason why her secretary had looked out of sorts. He gave off a disturbing aura. He didn't hunch his back in fear of the world but had exuded an air of confidence that spoke volumes of his personality. He held himself like a person who knew his place in the world and just from that knowledge alone, it seemed his fears fell away like melted butter.

She decided she didn't like him. Not at all.

"Yes that's me. Can I ask who...?"

This person seemed to brighten at the unfinished question and took a seat in one of the chairs across from her. _Uninvited_ , she noted unpleasantly. "Ah yes, My name is Kabuto."

Puzzled, Sakura asked, "Can I have your full name?"

"Just Kabuto," he responded with the same smile. "Not many know my last name and I'd prefer to keep it that way."

Her heart skipped a beat but she ignored it. "I see. What brings you here today?"

He raised a foot and rested the ankle on his knee as he clasped his hands together. "Well, I have a proposition for you."

"Oh?"

"My... benefactor," at this he made an odd face, "is looking to hire individuals with exceptional talent or skill in the medical field. He is working to bring to life a theory of his that is just on the brink of success."

"Can I ask what this project is for?"

His face turned crestfallen. "I'm afraid I can't give you much detail in terms of this particular project until you agree to be a part of it. The information I tell you is really all you'll get."

"What about the theory? What theory is he trying to... well bring to life, as you say? I'm well-versed in some of them."

He gave a tight-lipped smile. "That, too, is confidential."

"Is there anything you _can_ tell me then, doctor?" she asked, quite irritated at this lack of information. "You're not making a very persuasive argument if you're trying to acquire my cooperation."

He leaned forward then, a guarded smirk on his face. "What is the one thing your heart desires most, Haruno-san? Once this project is made successful with your help, my benefactor can give it to you. Money, power, happiness. It could all be in your reach."

Sakura opened her mouth then closed it, slightly flustered. "I- wh- Excuse me?"

Kabuto straightened. "You're one of the few people I've chosen to come to with this proposal. You _are_ the apprentice of Senju Tsunade, correct?"

She stilled, her breath caught on her throat. That shouldn't be common knowledge... it _wasn't_ common knowledge. "What?" she asked breathily.

"I've done my research on you, Sakura-san," he grinned and this time, it did reach his eyes. She shivered at the predatory gleam he directed at her. "It's actually something I am quite good at. Collecting information."

"Stop," she whispered, pinning him with a horrified glare.

"Tsunade-sama usually doesn't take on students. From what I'd gathered so far, the medical prodigy had sworn off of healing. I'm guessing that because not many know of Tsunade-sama's protege, a.k.a you, she made you keep this pertinent information a secret and in return she'd promised to train you. Although, I feel that was a bit selfish. To say that you actually trained under her tutelage would've brought you more prestige than your current station in life." He gave a cursory look around her office.

"Get out."

Kabuto tilted his head in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

" _Get. Out._ And don't come back," she hissed. Who this person was, she did not know but he'd raised multiple red flags already.

He didn't seem to look phased at her vicious statement and only took out a business card from the inside pocket of his lab coat. He placed it neatly on the desk in front of her and gave one last smile. "Do think about what I've said Sakura-san-"

"It's Haruno. You don't get the privilege of referring to me by my first name." Sakura grit her teeth as she said that and willed herself not to lose her temper.

"My apologies, _Haruno_ -san." He gave her a patronizing stare. "I'll be waiting for your call and you _will_ call," he said with certainty. "I'll be taking my leave now."

Sakura glared hard at the back of his head until he disappeared behind her door. She stood, turned to look at the time, and huffed angrily. Her lunch break was nearly at an end. She looked down at the card that had been placed in front of her and she picked it up. It only held a phone number and a neat, cursive K at the top. Grinding her teeth at the infuriating man, she threw the card into the trash and promptly gathered her things. She would forget this ever happened.

She paused for a moment, staring down at her desk with a thoughtful frown. _He'd known about my teacher. No one knew, save for Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke-kun would never... and even with Naruto's loud mouth, he would never betray my secrets so easily... so who...? How?_

Sakura shook her head after a moment of thought. She wouldn't get anywhere with questions to which she had no answers. He was a curious man. An _infuriating_ curious man. She'd forget he'd ever stepped foot in this office and erase the conversation from her mind. With that mindset, she strode out of her office and greeted her secretary, only pausing to instruct her not to let this man in should he ever appear once more before going on her merry way.

She was convinced she'd never see the Kabuto figure again.

* * *

Itachi, indeed, let out a rare sigh of frustration. Here they were again, arguing in the same circle, running the same lap over and over again.

A chorus of voices rang out around the bare, concrete room.

" _I_ can take this mission, Leader-sama! Me and my partner are more than capable-"

"You'd just bungle it up like you do with every oth-"

"This is a goddamn waste of my fucking time."

He agreed with that last sentiment.

"We've grown deeper roots," came a deep, succinct voice. It rose above all the others with its command for attention even though he had spoken quite softly. "The first phase of our plan is almost complete."

"It's pretty much done, un. Leader-sama we can go on to the second part of the pla-"

"Don't get your panties in a twist, squirt," laughed Kisame. "Patience is key to everything."

"Like _you_ are the most patient out of all of us?" retorted the man sarcastically.

Kisame shrugged. "You gotta be if you're teaming up with Itachi."

Itachi stared at the other members, vexed at how long this simple meeting was taking.

"That fucktard never says anything. I don't know why that little shit was even allowed to join anyways."

"Hidan," sighed a gruff voice who sat in a seat next to the crass speaker. "He's probably more useful to the organization than you."

"Oh shut up old man!"

"This is a waste of my time," came a small voice next to Itachi and he turned his head to eye the young boy. He didn't take any note of his surroundings, seemingly interested only in the puppet he manipulated in his hands. His crimson eyes rose to meet onyx. "What?"

"In any case," came the overpowering voice. "I feel as if we've done much more in the span of the last 10 years than was originally planned. We've grown connections, notoriety, and risen to a place of power. People are starting to whisper about us."

There was a murmur of agreement.

"We need a course of action."

"How about information." Itachi finally voiced before any of the other annoying assholes could say anything. "We have Zetsu," he nodded toward the quiet, bulky figure in the corner, "and it would be premature to rush years and years of hard work, especially when we've just barely started. We should finish phase one while prepping for phase two."

There was a pause before indignant talking erupted at once. _And this is why we can't get this concluded._ Itachi thought peevishly.

Some could only scowl and disagree wildly while others stewed in their silence. He would've been one of them had it not been for his impatience to return home.

"I agree," Sasori stated, the redheaded teen still playing with the tiny marionette. Nobody bothered to listen. "Let's just do what Itachi said and conclude this meeting. It's a waste of my damn time," he shouted louder, this time an edge of irritation present in his voice.

"But Sasori danna, this is dumb, un. We already know who our targets will be. Leader-sama just has to assign each team with one and we can just beat our targets into submission before bringing them back. It's not hard. My art is supreme, un!"

"Childish bombs are nothing short of a disaster, you li'l brat."

"Who're you calling brat? You're fucking younger than me, you idiotic tween!"

Sasori didn't grace that with a response and stayed silent, pulling at the strings of his puppet with agitation.

"Aw, c'mon assholes! I hate to say it but girly-brat Deidara is right."

"You-!"

"Hidan, don't be an idiot," his partner muttered beside him. "Itachi is correct in his thinking. Besides, it's efficient and probably doesn't cost quite as much as whatever half-baked ideas _you_ concoct."

"Oi, Kakuzu. You better shut your fucking ass or I'll sacrifice your unworthy shithead self to Jashin-sama."

"Is that a threat, you simpleton?"

Kisame could only boom with laughter. "Look at the shit you started Itachi!" he said in excitement and Itachi could sense the bloodlust coming into play at the prospect of a possible fight.

"Zetsu," came the leader's voice. "Gather the information. You know who our primary targets are. Observe them, bring back periodic reports."

"Of course, Leader-sama," came an airy voice. " **We'll be sure not to disappoint.** " The second voice had a gravelly undertone and one of the figures seemed to melt into the darkness of the shadows.

"Everyone else, back to your posts. For now, we'll wait. Meeting concluded."

Itachi made to stand from his seat and ignored the others who quickly disappeared one by one.

 _Finally_ , he inwardly rejoiced. This needless meeting had taken too long.

* * *

She couldn't sleep that night. It wasn't anything new, really, but what made it different was how restless she felt over the day's earlier encounter.

Sighing for the millionth time, she checked the time. 2:07.

It was a bad habit of hers. She couldn't help it. Somehow, knowing what time it was kept her sane. It made her feel like she could control a lot by simply knowing the time. It gave her room to think of where she had to be in however many hours, or however long one action/event would take in the span of whatever amount of minutes.

Finally, she picked up her phone and dialed a number but before it could get past the first ring, she hung up.

She shook her head tiredly. Sasuke-kun wouldn't care. He wouldn't want to bother. _She_ didn't want to be a bother yet the need to lessen this lonely existence increased with each passing second... She could go to Naruto. But she couldn't do that either. She knew he would come over in a heartbeat should she ever say so but the same reasoning with Sasuke engraved its insistent words into the back of her mind.

She was a burden, a weight constantly being carried. And if she were to be completely honest with herself, _that_ was by far one of her greatest fears.

Sakura looked toward her digital clock once more. 2:14.

Groaning in frustration, she finally got up and made her way to the kitchen, deciding to brew herself a nice cup of tea to calm her frazzled nerves.

At this point in her life, she didn't really have much she could want for. She had a comfortable income, her dream job, her two best friends who always found a way to make her smile... the only thing that was lacking was a love life.

She shook her head at this as she placed the kettle on the stovetop. Somehow, the more she thought about it, the more she was confident that even if Sasuke-kun miraculously returned her feelings in any way, she would be as unsatisfied with her life then as she feels now. She worked so hard to achieve the things that she'd wanted, except for romance yet even so she was left with this pit in her stomach each night that reminded her she was missing something.

It wasn't sex. She knew that at least. She knew what arousal was and how it should feel. She'd been with a few herself.

 _No..._ she thought to herself as she took out a small teacup from the cupboard and stared at the variety of tea she had to herself. This wasn't the crave for another man's physical presence. This was something else.

She took a bag of Earl Grey from the box and set it into the cup. The whistle from the teapot blew shrilly and she turned the stove off, mechanically willing herself to pour the hot water in. She placed it back on the stove before grabbing her tea and making her way to the couch in the living room. She sat in her little corner, looking out toward the city lights as she sipped the brew gently.

Her thoughts circled back to the growing ugliness that she couldn't seem to get rid of, nesting in the deepest corner of her heart. After a little thought, she finally found a name to put to the darkness in her mind.

It was despair.

Despair was more than just a word to her. It was the mother that birthed people's darkest fears and insecurities. It was the hate that good people fought. It was the war that peace strived to overcome. But with all its worse qualities, it would never be washed away.

She couldn't pinpoint why. She should be happy. She should be happy with her life because what did she have to feel upset about? Why did she deserve to languish in this dark depression when her situation could very well be much worse? She could be homeless, cold, starving. A criminal. Traumatized... Dead... Was it for attention? Did she want attention from others and utilized these forms of attention-getting as a way to feel less alone in this world?

Perhaps.

But her lips were tightly sealed on the matter. No one knew how twisted she felt on the inside so even if this all sprouted from her desperate want for attention, she knew she would never get it.

Was this what it was like to be left alone with your thoughts? Haunted by imperfections and flaws on her part. Unhappy with the things she'd gained, ungrateful for the things that she had.

Yet she _was_ grateful. So the problem couldn't be that she was narcissistic or egotistical. She didn't think herself better than anyone.

Then it dawned on her. It wasn't that she was unhappy with her situation, her thoughts, or even the darkness that kept her up at night.

She was simply... unhappy with herself. And after coming to that conclusion, Sakura found that she couldn't bring it in herself to change that. She'd already perfected her life. People already knew how she acted, what she laughed at... They didn't perceive the unsure feelings about her impurities.

It was exactly how she'd wanted it... but she had to admit to herself, she was disappointed with the results. She'd constructed a mask so carefully, even unknowingly, but even though the prospect of shedding it from her face scared her, she discovered that in her heart, she did want someone to see, to be strong enough to fracture the mask she had so meticulously to see just enough of herself and not judge.

Sakura finished off the rest of her tea and laughed a lonesome sound.

But no one could do that. No one _she_ knew anyway.

* * *

A/N: okay that was confusing even for me but i feel like the last part from Sakura's pov really captures how a person thinks. Many people are really back and forth in their thinking and sometimes it doesn't even make sense to the host. I feel like the mind is beautiful in the way that it's complex and I wrote her thoughts from mine. A lot of this pairing's really dark thinking will come from me as I said this story is a form of venting for me.

I kind of slapped this together but in a good way? lol I winged it basically but i tried to make it turn out good is what i'm trying to say. I really do hope people like this fic. I'm trying to work past my writer's block. Hopefully it's not too confusin? But maybe that's just wishful thinking. If you guys have any questions i'll try to answer it but i can't promise anything. It's purposefully supposed to be as vague as it's specific sometimes.

Anyways! Thank you for reading. Please review!

Until next time :)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

He couldn't understand what was wrong.

Or more specifically, he'd never be able to understand why he would be condemned for simply thinking things that naturally flowed through his thought process. He took in the information of his surroundings and utilized the experience that he gained to come to a simple conclusion.

Despite how much his actions and words contradicted the single basis of his morals, he really was a pacifist at heart.

Morality... It was a human invention in the first place. Why should he have to heed to something as constricting as morals, especially when it required him to sap his energy to entertain social expectations simply for the gratification of _appearing_ normal to the public eye.

When one abandoned something as silly as morals, he felt one could truly be free.

It was subjective after all - everything was. To be good, to be bad. What was the meaning of each? Being considered a saint was to be embody the definition of morality. To be... kind? To be selfless? For what reason did that serve? For whose purpose? Who decided that this would be the face of society? Why was it so terrible to be selfish?

To want?

To desire?

To have to dance around the fragile ego's of other similarly selfish beings... He strongly related to being a pacifist and yet, he knew that war and violence was an inevitable thing. So used to the evil shortcomings of basic human traits, he no longer cringed inwardly at taking a life. He no longer had a conscience to silence.

He no longer had to live for others as he used to... and it was most freeing.

Maybe the fact that he's even accepted the inevitability of violence in the world negated his claim to being pacifistic, but he didn't ponder on it too long.

"Heard your brother was in the area."

Itachi was brought out of his musings by the sly smile of his partner.

"Are you gonna check up on him while we're here? We probably will be with our new orders," Kisame said excitedly, a touch of bloodlust tinging the edge of his gruff voice.

"Perhaps."

Kisame was slightly taken aback at the response. He had thrown the suggestion out there more for entertainment than anything but really hadn't expected a response in return.

Itachi turned to him. "Find out where to start. I have something to take care of."

Knowing better than to question him, he shrugged and exited the car. He was never one to question orders and he didn't care for the answers so long as it didn't clash with his wants or interests.

When the passenger door shut and Itachi was left alone with the settling silence, he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, recalling the betrayed black hues of his little brother 17 years ago. He wondered if his orbs still held the look of a soul drowning in pain.

Maybe. Maybe not. Time did have an uncanny way of softening the blows of life and he knew he had people close to him that had helped him through the trauma, even if Sasuke himself was unwilling to admit it.

He had to admit, he looked forward to reuniting with his brother. He'd be terribly disappointed if his eyes didn't flare with hate at the sight of him.

* * *

"Sakura?"

Her heart thumped at the sound of her name leaving his lips. "Y-yes?"

She inwardly berated herself for acting quite pathetically, though her actions were completely involuntary on her part.

Sasuke stared at her with a strange sort of worry. "You haven't been yourself lately."

She couldn't help but sigh tiredly as she ran a hand through her short locks. "I... haven't been sleeping lately and there have been a lot more patients to tend to these days." It was partly true... but the thing that had insistently been bothering her the past few days was Kabuto.

Thankfully, she hadn't seen the strange figure again but something about him _bothered_ her more than she cared to admit. She would've simply written him off as a nutjob, and yet... the fact that he knew who her teacher had disconcerted her.

No one should've known that particular information so why had he been privy to one of her most guarded secrets?

He'd told her that he was a master at gathering information. If that was true, was he really so good at unearthing hidden things?

Ever since that day, she'd replayed their conversation in her head over and over again even when she was sick of hearing the whispers of his voice in her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Sakura?"

"Huh?" Startled, Sakura snapped her head from the lax daze her head had been in and stared at Sasuke with wide eyes. "Yes?"

He frowned. "Did you want me to take you home?"

Sakura jerked her head. "No! Absolutely not. I still have my shift to get back to."

"You've never taken a day for yourself before and even while you're working, nobody can deny how fervently you work. No one would object if you decided to go home for half a day," he pointed out.

"I've just been a little tired lately," she waved away his concerns. "Besides, how long has it been since we've last seen each other? Your new job is certainly taking up a lot of your time and this is the first time in months since we've gone out to eat lunch together," she pouted.

Sasuke took a dry look around the empty restaurant. "Well, it's really nothing special." He made to stand and took out his wallet, leaving a few bills on the table. "C'mon. I'll take you home."

Sakura immediately made to protest but was silenced by a fierce look. She deflated in disappointment that their time had been cut short and followed him out to his car.

"I guess I'll call in sick when I get home," she remarked as he got into the driver's side and started the engine.

"Hn."

It wasn't a very long drive from the restaurant across the hospital to her house, however, during the whole 20 minute drive an uncomfortable silence drifted around them. She wracked her head to fill in the void but couldn't quite think up anything clever enough to wipe away the awkwardness of the situation and was thus left to fidget in her seat.

"This one, right?"

Startled, Sakura turned to look out the window and noted that he had parked just outside her apartment complex. She gave him a bleak smile and nodded her head. "Are you gonna be coming tonight?"

Sasuke cocked his head. "I'll make the time."

She almost smiled. "Akimichi's is gonna leave the place empty for us at 6. At least try to pop in?"

He only nodded and gestured for her to get down.

Sakura couldn't help but sigh as she watched him pull away. She wished she'd been like the other girls her age who grew out of unrequited first loves. It was tiring, painful, and somewhat lonely.

* * *

He took a sip of the whiskey that he'd taken the liberty of pouring himself as he observed his little brother's humble abode.

Plain and depressing.

There was sparse furniture - a bed pushed to the corner, dresser on the side, a lamp, and within the kitchen, the only thing that decorated it was a coffee table and three chairs, one of which he currently occupied as there was nowhere else to seat himself. At least the kitchen was fairly well-stocked for a bachelor or he would've been hard pressed to find himself the ice, cup, and alcohol which currently rested in his hand.

The door jiggled with the tell-tale sounds of someone unlocking it and Itachi briefly wondered how much his brother had grown.

His head lazily swiveled to look at the male that entered and noted the abrupt way his sibling had dropped everything and froze upon seeing who inhabited the space in his kitchen. "Sasuke," he greeted cordially.

"Nii-san," Sasuke choked out in turn, sounding as if he'd forgotten how to breathe.

"You've grown," Itachi smiled and sipped his whiskey.

He could see the memories flash through his eyes, the options he considered since this visit had been unexpected, and finally, the hate. Itachi almost frowned. He knew it'd be disappointing, but a part of him had really hoped that it would be... well, _more_ than what was being shown. Not enough hate. It was not enough.

All logic seemed to fly out the window as Sasuke darted for one of the large kitchen knives. "I'm gonna _fucking kill you_!"

Itachi stood, setting his cup down and simultaneously dodging the dangerous lunge aimed for his torso. Before Sasuke had the time to retract his arm and attempt another blow, Itachi gripped it harshly and twisted it behind his back until the knife inevitably clattered to the floor. "You don't have enough hate to kill me, little brother," he mocked firmly before pushing him away.

Sasuke stumbled but immediately swiveled a high kick towards his face. Itachi caught the hard blow. "Is that any way to greet your elder? I thought I'd taught you some etiquette."

"You're _nothing_ to me," Sasuke spat as he dug into his back pocket and threw the pocket knife he always kept around, simultaneously wrenching his leg from his brother's grip. Itachi raised an arm and barely winced at the pain that the blade elicited. He had no time to inspect the wound as Sasuke dove right back in to attacking him, well versed in marshal arts and other tactics to hold his own against most anyone.

Most anyone who wasn't his brother.

Although his aggressive attacks forced Itachi to move on the defensive, it hardly seemed like he was cornered. He dodged his punches, sidestepped his kicks, and slapped away any offending objects that were thrown at him - sharp or otherwise - as if this fight were merely child's play.

As if he were toying with him.

Itachi marveled at his brother's progress but even still was not as impressed as he would've been if he'd pushed himself to his true potential.

He noticed that as potent as Sasuke's rage and anger was, he was quickly tiring himself out, resorting to taunts to get Itachi to engage in some semblance of a serious fight.

 _Enough games_ , "You're not ready yet."

With that utterance, Itachi violently yanked at the switchblade that was still lodged in his arm and gripping it firmly, stabbed it deep into Sasuke's thigh. With the sudden attack on his person, Sasuke confusedly tried to jerk away only to be swept onto the ground by Itachi's foot.

Before he could attempt to get up, however, Itachi knelt down, grasped his shoulder and slammed it back onto the floor, keeping it there. "Listen close, little brother," he said with no remorse. "You are far from close to killing me and your attempt at it is the most pitiful thing I've ever come to witness. If you're serious, then take the words I said to you that night to heart. _Hate_ me, Sasuke," he hissed. "I didn't say to imitate it."

Saying what he'd needed to, Itachi stood up and took his leave. When he passed the front door, he couldn't help but pause at the frustrated punches that resounded against the floor. He let himself don a rare smile of fondness as he compared his little brother of the present to his little brother from the past. Despite all of his shortcomings, Sasuke really had come a long way. He supposed he felt something akin to pride at the thought. He ignored the small pang of regret that echoed loudly in the back of his mind and headed off. He was still in Konoha on business, after all, and had yet to start the work that had been assigned to him.

* * *

Sakura tried not to let her disappointment show as she interacted with the others around the restaurant. After all, the Akimichi's had reserved their restaurant solely for her classmates use to have their little yearly get together.

For the millionth time, she checked the time and was irked to find that it was well into the evening. Just a little past 8.

This wasn't the kind of scene Sasuke would normally inhabit, but even still he'd said he would come... hadn't he?

It was as good of a promise as she would get from him.

"Sakuraaaaaa~" Naruto shouted drunkenly and swung an arm heavily around her shoulder. "Teme... Hve ya seenn that..." he paused and cocked his head to figure out just what, exactly, he had been trying to ask. "Thet Jerrrrrk!" he finally pushed off her and stomped his foot indignantly. "Havnt seem... seen _seen_ im 'round."

She couldn't help but giggle despite the little seed of worry that had been planted. Sasuke usually checked in on Naruto at least and knowing Naruto, he would've called Sasuke multiple times wondering why their friend had the audacity to skip this event. It must mean that he's not answering his calls.

Did something happen?

"Calm down, baka," she shook her head and sipped at the wine she'd chosen as her poison for tonight. "You know he doesn't answer to you."

Naruto swiveled to look at her, confusion apparent on his face. "But... why?"

Neji chose this opportune time to hop into the conversation, grimacing as he replied, "Despite what you think, Naruto, you're just a plain commoner. Why should _anybody_ answer to you in the first place?"

Naruto sputtered as if offended but the confusion remained. "I love you too Neji," he broke out grinning.

Chouji passed by, a heaping plate of meat and other specialties topped high on his hand. "We've barely even started the night and he's drunk."

Hinata came over, worry pinching her brows. "Is... i-is N-Naruto-kun okay?"

"Hinataaaaaaa~"

The girl in question froze up as he swung his arm around her shoulder. "Yer such... such a perrrty girl," he remarked and finally spared the blushing girl from fainting as he slipped off of her and _thunk_ 'd to the ground.

Neji had a vein popping on his forehead, muttering to himself about how uncouth he'd been in the presence of his cousin.

Sakura gave her a knowing grin. "Are you okay, Hinata?"

Hinata straightened, eyes wide, face red. "Y-yes!" she squeaked and before she could be bombarded by any more questions, she scurried away to splash cool water on her face.

"Hinata is never gonna make it far in her quest for Naruto's heart if she keeps at it like that," Chouji stated as he dug into his food.

"Thank your parents for letting us use their restaurant, Chouji!" came a voice from the other side of the room who Sakura identified as Ino. Chouji just grunted in reply, too busy clearing off his plate to give back a proper answer.

Sakura turned to Naruto, still passed out on the floor because nobody had bothered to pick him up. Momentarily forgetting her worries about Sasuke, she sighed and sat on his back. Naruto only gave a grunt while Sakura snickered. "Naruto that baka."

Shikamaru gave pause to consider the two forms on the floor. "Why do you put up with him?" he asked, able to put two and two together but unable to stifle a yawn. "He seems so... troublesome."

Sakura laughed at the grimace on his face as she replied fondly, "He... grows on you."

"Did he even eat?"

Sakura paled. "If he didn't, he's gonna have a bitch of a hangover."

Shikamaru just shrugged. "It's not my problem," he said and proceeded to plop to the floor of the traditional Japanese restaurant where most everybody was gathered, eating the absolutely delicious delicacies provided by the owners.

Suddenly, she felt her phone vibrate and Sakura jumped at the suddenness. She was almost tempted to ignore it in favor of spending the night in the company of her friends but she knew she couldn't. It might very well be from the hospital or something equally as important.

Without checking the caller ID, she answered and her heart almost stopped at the voice that resounded heavily on the other end.

"Sakura."

Her eyes widened exponentially. "S-Sasu-"

"Can you come _now_?"

His breathing was sharp, coming in quick pants. Immediately, she was on high alert. "What's wrong?"

"Just... come... now..."

With that, the call ended and without any hesitation on her part, she left the party, and hurried to the side of one of her most dearest friends.

* * *

A/N: Hello everybody!

Kind of an abrupt way to end this, I was a bit unhappy with it too but sometimes these things get tricky. That poor semblance of a fight between Itachi and Sasuke was also probably poorly written, and hopefully when I have the time and I'm not feeling lazy, I'll go back over it and rewrite to a more better, fitting scene. This is probably the only chapter I'll be the most unhappy with and I know you guys are waiting for Ita/Saku fluff. Don't worry. It's coming. Transitions are tricky too and I don't want to rush this. It'll only make both you and me unhappy and i'll have to scrap this story and we ALL don't want that lol.

I can't promise it'll happen next chapter but it'll definitely be happening soon.

It's not Sasu/Saku so don't worry about that and make sure not to forget about Kabuto :3 I haven't really thought about the plot but I'm hoping/planning to make him and Orochimaru's need for her kinda central to the plot.

 ** _Notice_** : If you haven't read my profile, I'd like to announce that I'm thinking of taking writing a little more seriously as a hobby. Like trying to update sooner for everything, updating and working really hard on completing them. Which is why I'm moving on to Wattpad. I'd appreciate so, so, SO much if you at least checked it out. I just started one story. Only a prologue and a chapter in so far. My username is unstorytimer. The book is called Denial Comes First and it's about a girl who makes a contract with a demon. It sounds cliche but if you know me at all as a writer, it'll be extremely different to other stories of the same plot. You know how I like to get creative ;) So please check it out. To those of you that do, thank you! I really, really appreciate it.

Read and review and thank you so much.

Until next time :)


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